How Hitting A Hay Bale With A Big Stick Changed My Life.

How Hitting A Hay Bale With A Big Stick Changed My Life.

In 1999, I began a two-year apprenticeship with author Stuart Wilde. If you are not familiar with the work of Stuart Wilde, you can find his twenty books on Amazon. I first read Whispering Winds of Change and was hooked. I have noticed how some authors seem to literally grab me by the throat with their words, as if to say “This is true!” Hemingway, Thoreau, Whitman, Jed McKenna, Bukowski and Castaneda all had the same impact on me. Stuart passed just a few years back driving the winding bucolic country roads of Ireland, an apt departure for a remarkable being.   Back in 1999, Stuart was very alive and fully embodied his mystical, magical, powerful, take no prisoners self. This is when my journey with Stuart Wilde began.

After reading several of his books, I felt I had found a kindred spirit. Therefore, I searched for live Stuart Wilde events and found him at a presentation in Sipapu, New Mexico in the fall of 1999. Following that experience, and feeling Stuart’s immense energy and charisma, I knew I had found my teacher. Consequently, my wife and I flew from San Francisco to Sidney, Australia a few months later to attend a more intimate intensive weeklong gathering of 20 spiritual seekers at his large castle like home in Milton. On the fifth day of the event, after spending most of our time training on the subtleties of meditation and energy, Stuart asked me to go out into the local woods and find a big stick. He gave me very specific instructions: Five feet long. Two to three inches thick. Smooth surface. Stuart handed me a saw, and off I went. Two hours later, I returned with the perfect stick. I had no idea for what purpose I had found the stick, but I was proud of my stick. Stuart carefully examined the stick, accepted the stick, and that seemed to be the end of that.

The next day, mid morning, Stuart asked all the blokes to meet him outside at the driveway in the front of the house. There we found a big hay bale. “Hmmm. What is that for?” I thought to myself. There on the hay bale rested my stick. Stuart had wrapped a white cloth around one end of the stick to create a protective handle. He proceeded to give us instructions for what was going to happen next. One by one, we were going to approach the hay bale, grab the stick, and take massive whacks at the hay bale. It was important, Stuart said, to use all of our body and strike with everything would could for as many times as we could until we felt complete, or totally exhausted. Equally important, Stuart instructed us to yell out loud the target of your anger and rage. This would make the experience more real and more cathartic. Immediately, upon hearing these words, fear started to settle in amongst my newfound band of brothers.

Allow me to step back from the story and address the fear. Having now experienced and led men in several hundred of these hay bale rituals, I have observed that the primary fear is “how will I compare to the other men?” “Can I do this?” “Can I truly let go and allow rage to consume me?” I am often surprised by how difficult it is for men, even when given full permission and group agreement, to let go and fully express their rage. I have no doubt that every man does the best he can. However this ritual demonstrates the self imposed barriers we place on ourselves. The great majority of men walk away from the hay bale experience feeling they did not give it everything they could. All men experience a breakthrough, however the little voice in our head whispers we could have given more. Fear stops us. In the end, this was a huge lesson for each and every man who did the hay bale ritual. It opened up each man’s inquiry into his own relationship with fear and self-expression.

One reason Stuart became my mentor for two years, the thing that always impressed me, was that he showed no fear. He never asked anyone to do anything he would not do, and he did everything full out. So when we started the ritual, Stuart was the first to go. He grabbed the stick and swung it over his head and hit the hay bale hard. He yelled out “Stuart, you fucking wimp!” and then again “Stuart, you fucking piece of shit!” and on and on, taking it out on himself, and all the lies he told about himself. Stuart had kicked the door wide open, and now we were to follow.

I was inspired.   I went next. I apprehensively walked up to the stick, grabbed it and felt the weight of it in my hand. Then I took my first swing. Oh, it felt good. After a few tentative whacks, I forgot that anybody else was watching. My whacks at the hay bale became more intense. My target was god. I cussed at god. I yelled about how he had lied to me. I yelled about what an asshole he was for creating a planet with so much death and pain and misery. I called god a fucking hypocrite. I continued to whack the hay bale until I was ready to collapse. I gave it my all and felt complete as I walked away. When I returned to my place in the circle around the hay bale, I felt changed. I had never expressed my full masculine presence in that way. Never had I been given permission to fully self express, and speak aloud my deepest anger and rage. My body continued to tremble for several minutes, the effects of the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I felt like my balls grew in size. My inner warrior had been released. But I was not done, not by a long shot.

Then I watched as each man, one by one, took the long walk toward the hay bale. I observed how each man had his own way of striking the hay bale. Some whacked it as if with a baseball bat. Others, like me, raised the stick way over my head and brought it down with all the force I could muster. As it turned out, I was not the only one who had an issue with god. He was definitely the number one target. On and on it went. One by one, I saw men transformed from my friendly workshop mates to rage filled creatures who had quite a bit of rage to express. Over time, I relaxed, feeling complete, and ready to resume our more subdued and subtle mystical activities.

Next, Stuart said, “Now that you are all warmed up, we are going to do it again!” “For fuck’s sake,” I thought to myself, “what’s left?” This time, Stuart did not need to go first. I wanted to lead, and see what I had left inside me. I walked up to the hay bale with absolutely no idea who or what was to be the target of my rage. I picked up the stick, my stick, and started to hit the hay bale. Whack. Whack. Whack. And then, the name of an ex girlfriend that had broken my heart started to erupt out of my throat. “Carol!” Whack. “Carol!” Whack. “You fucking bitch!” Whack. On and on it went. The second round allowed me to go to a much deeper place of hurt and despair. With each whack, I was releasing the pain and freeing myself up of that gut wrenching memory. The second round was longer, more rage filled, and far more self-expressive. I found a new energy that sustained me, even when I thought I had given everything during the first round. Finally I was complete. My body trembled once again. I threw the stick at the hay bale and walked away. As I returned to the circle and I saw Stuart smiling. My buddy said to me, “I don’t know Carol is, but I hope I never meet her.”

Many men had a similar experience. The second round was much deeper, and more profound than the first. Once I had gotten the fear and self-consciousness out of my system, a whole new level of self-expression opened up. The superficial Jay had to take a back seat to a more authentic and real Jay. No longer was I a sensitive new age guy who discounted his masculinity. Now I was feeling like a real man. Jay meet Jay.

Over the years, I have led the hay bale process in my own weekend workshops. The hay bale ritual is powerful in its simplicity. Men are given permission to rage and fully self-express. I have seen men take whacks at god, their wives, their mothers, their fathers, their girl friends, that childhood bully, and at themselves. I have seen men in the depths of fear, take that long walk to the stick, and let it all go. It is liberating to see such courage. It is inspiring to see men take full responsibility for their fear and rage. It is enlightening to see and begin to understand the dynamics of our own fear and rage.

Two incidents stand out amongst the many hay bale rituals I have seen. The first took place in Santa Rosa, California. During our morning circle, in which we introduce a topic and each man is required to speak as open heartedly as possible, one man shared a gut-wrenching story about how his father has sexually abused him. Tears rolled down his eyes as he told his story for the first time to another human being. This often happens. Men, in a safe and confidential environment, inspired by the vulnerable sharing of others, often release painful experiences for the first time. No one who heard his story remained unscathed.

As this man approached the hay bale, we all knew that the target of his rage had to be his abusive father. He grabbed the stick, and placed the end of it on the hay bale. I had never seen this before. Crying profusely, he was literally unable to lift the stick up and take a whack. I cannot begin to imagine how conflicted he must have felt. As boys, our dad was our hero. However in his case, his dad was also the devil. After a few minutes, as the leader, I instinctively took action. I asked him if I could take a few whacks to get him started. I was definitely feeling the rage towards his dad, especially seeing the devastating impact on his now paralyzed son, so this all happened very naturally. I began whacking the hay bale, swearing up and down about how horrible he (the dad) was to betray such a sacred covenant as father and son. I was so enraged that I began gouging the stick into the hay bale, as if I was stabbing the abusive father with a lance. Suddenly, the stick bounced back and hit me in the face, putting a nasty gash above my right eye. Blood flowed. Everyone looked in terror, concerned I may have lost an eye. I told everyone I was ok and headed off to the bathroom. But before I did, I said to the man, “Kill that fucker. Do it and free yourself!” I understand he was able to begin whacking the hay bale and the healing had begun. He was a man finally becoming free from the grip of horrible events from his past.

The second incident took place in Sebastopol, California. We had one participant who was very reserved and quiet. He was the last of the group to go. Everyone else had taken their whacks in the first round. We all looked at him. He expressed that he felt he did not have the same kind of rage living in him. He shared that in his family, he was never allowed to fully express himself. Then one of the participants spoke directly to him: “What if this is your last chance on earth to get this shit out of yourself?” That seemed to light a fuse, and he proceeded to take his whacks. Afterwards, he too was a man transformed. You could see it in his face, and in the way he confidently walked around and interacted with us all.

Do I hate god? Do I hate my ex girlfriend? Do men hate their wives? Do men really want to inflict physical harm to any of these people? No, of course not. However, we do often have conflicted feelings. The hay bale process is a powerful technique to release painful memories, and allow more energy for love and appreciation. I know when I carry around pain and hurt feelings; it is hard for me to be present with another person. These experiences I have shared are a safe and very effective way to purge those feelings. I would liken it to taking your car in for a tune up. Over time gunk builds up, and it is good to get a regular cleaning. Otherwise, these feelings may be expressed in far more harmful and often violent ways.

My two-year stint with Stuart Wilde, in Australia, in America, in England, and in Ireland was a time of profound learning and personal transformation. You could not hang out with Stuart and not be changed. Stuart was a tough teacher. Many of the lessons he shared with me had a very hard edge. He exposed many levels of what he called my dark side, those qualities like competitiveness, female objectification, and dishonesty that I had never had to the courage to look at and claim as my own. It was a hell of a ride. And it all began in earnest the moment I picked up that big stick and started whacking away at my own painful memories that early December morning in Milton, Australia.

Photo: flickrAvel-Breizh

Love The One You’re With.

Love The One You’re With.

Van Gogh

“There is a loneliness in this world so great that you can see it in the slow movement of the hands of a clock” 
 Charles Bukowski

I hear quite a bit of advice.  Some people have an Aha moment, and feel compelled to share it in the form of words of encouragement.  One bit that is shared often is this: Love Yourself.   While this is no doubt well intentioned,  it actually makes someone who has this challenge feel worse for they don’t know how to accomplish the task, which in turn creates more self-loathing.  “Why can’t I love myself more!”  You might as well tell a blind man that he should go look at a Van Gogh painting.   I look at this image and am filled with awe, beauty, and the touch of God.  I can even share my rapturous feelings with a man who can not see, but it does not do him much good.  I can only imagine the feelings of frustration, regret and downright anger that arise.  It does not work.

“With love you don’t bargain. There, the choice is not yours. Love is a mirror, it reflects only your essence, if you have the courage to look in its face. ”  

– Rumi

Love is the law.  Love is the truth.  Love can be as harsh as it can be beautiful.  Therefore, it takes courage to look at your essence,  for you, at your core, are love.  It takes courage to begin the process of knowing yourself.  It is easy to look and see all the good stuff.  The trick is to look at the dark stuff, come to terms with it, appreciate it, and rather than pretend it does not exist, integrate it into your being.   I have discovered that I am competitive.  I relish the thought of winning and another losing.  I have rage and anger and impatience that live within me.  I have the capacity to kill.  These are just some of the components of my dark side.  It is my journey to discover these aspects of myself and come to a place of acceptance.  In order to truly experience authentic love of any kind, this has to happen.  Otherwise my love is a partial love, a pretend love , the kind of love bandied about in silly love songs.  It wears off and does not stand the test of time.   Since our love is incomplete, we look outside of ourselves for more.  And so we have a culture that celebrates finding love in another.  We hear expression like “You complete me.”   What we thought was love wears off and families are broken into pieces.  If only more looked within wherein lies all the answers.

So where do you start?   The elixir is in the poison.  You dive into the hurt.  I have never met a human being that did not have some feelings of self-loathing.  Often it is self loathing, like the pain from a persistent pebble in our shoe, that awakens us to action. It’s the discomfort that creates the yearning for something greater. It’s only in the acquisition of self-knowledge that we begin to appreciate the brilliance of our human condition. It’s this appreciation for the universal condition of all beings that begins to look like self-love.  But it is not self-love.  It is love.  As the Bukowski quote indicates, many suffer from loneliness, or a feeling of being uncomfortable in the present moment without the company of another person.  However, once one begins to experience love, time spent alone transforms into a panoply of experiences, rich and full of joy and inner contentment.

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”  ― Pablo Neruda

Love is not something you direct at yourself or at a chosen other. Love is a state of being, a place you come from in every moment of your life. In fact, the idea of loving just yourself or just another, will upon ruthless examination, seem non-sensical.   When you arrive in life at where you started in life, love is everywhere, like the constant beat of life in your heart.  I love you.  This is true.  I love me too.  You is me.  Me is you.  If you want to feel the real deal, you have to do the heavy lifting.  Invest time into knowing yourself and into understanding who you are through and through.   It is as simple as writing your name on a piece of paper, then write “Light Side” on the top left and “Dark Side” on the top right, and begin writing.  It’s OK to admit to all aspects of yourself, especially to yourself.  You will be surprised at the catharsis that occurs when you undertake this simple little process.

This love, the great love, the golden love, is available right now.  It is in the air we all  breath.  It is in the sunlight that warms your skin.  It is in the tone of your friend’s voice.  It is in your lover’s breath.  You don’t need to look for it, for it can’t be found.  Life calls upon each of us to dive deep within our own being, and in so doing, we begin to clean the lens of our perception.  The love is here, more love than we can imagine, the kind of love that has obsessed poets like Neruda and Bukowski and Rumi for lifetimes.  It is so powerful, and can be so overwhelming, that we often lean back towards what is comfortable, and socially accepted, while the keys to the kingdom of heaven slip out of our hands.   Can’t you taste it?  Are you ready to undertake the hero’s quest to unearth the grail?  Grab my hand and let’s jump into the abyss.

About the Author

Jay Cradeur Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.

An Exceptional Life

An Exceptional Life

Empty bowl

Isn’t it true that we feel the most alive, the most real, the most authentic, when we are going through the most challenging of times?  Had a bout with cancer?  Experienced the death of a loved one?  Job loss?  Relationship dissolution?  Career change?  Financial chaos?  Stopping any form of intoxication (drinking, smoking, narcotics, gambling, debting, sexing…)?  If you look at this honestly, the times of the greatest challenge, when life hardly seem worth living, when nothing else really matters, when depression may have set in, when staying in bed sounds as attractive as taking a walk along the beach, these are the times when you and I have been the closest to the true nature of our current incarnation.  It is undeniable.

The path of adult maturation demands that we think for ourselves.  All authority must be assumed within.  Outside authority must be systematically challenged, questioned and discarded.  I must take full responsibility not only for my current life, but for my past life and the resulting behaviors and thought forms I have acquired.   I bring this up because for most of us, we have been lied to from the day we were born.  We have been told what to believe, how to live, what to pursue, and what will bring us happiness.   How is that working for you?  Do you enjoy being a cog in the wheel?  Are you starting to ask questions, and are you beginning to figure things out on your own?  In order to do that, one must assume full self authority.  At some point, giving over your authority to anyone else, or to any group, is anathema to your soul.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.  Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.  And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  – Steve Jobs

So now, as a think for yourself human being, as you read on, ponder on this.  Is it not true for you that the times of greatest challenge, pain, and despondency were the most authentic experiences you have had?  As I sit with the men in my groups, I can pretty quickly tell who is deep in a challenging life experience.  He is not giddy with excitement about a new car.  He is not talking about his latest sexual conquest.  Nor is he ranting on about his woman and relationship.  No, rather he is humbled.  He is vulnerable.  His heart is flayed wide open.  He is authentic.  He is seeing the world through new eyes.  He is experiencing a death, and in that space, the seeds of a new existence are beginning to spring forth.  He knows in that moment, that the car, the sex and the women, all that stuff, is fairly incidental to what really matters here and now.  It is more the stuff of dreams.  In fact, he is beginning to see that this life is a dream.  He is experiencing the seeds of awakening.  And for the first time, he may be actually living in the current moment, without regrets for the past and fears for the future.

Why is it that when we feel lonely, despondent,  depressed, humbled or vulnerable, we feel life to be the most real and authentic?  Why is it that during these specific periods of time, we also feel that life is meaningless?  This is very interesting.  When we stop listening to the outside authorities telling us what is meaningful, and when we go through some of life’s most challenging moments, we find life to be empty and meaningless.  Let me restate that because this is key.  To be clear, during our most authentic moments, when we feel perfectly clear and present, life feels empty and meaningless.  True?  What do you think this means?  This is a big question, the answer of which can have huge implications on your life.  There is a huge freedom that comes from this seminal realization.

The inner emptiness is the door to God. – Osho

Now, whatever it means to you, this undeniable feeling that life is empty is something most of us do not like.  It is scary.  It gives one a feeling of being unhinged.   It goes against most everything we have been taught.  It is new and different, and most of us will do just about anything not to feel it.   During our men’s events, we refers to this experience, the little voice of emptiness, as the “little bastard” and we want to keep him little and hidden away, because at first he doesn’t feel good inside us.  It feels wrong to be living a life that is empty and meaningless.  As Morpheus showed Neo the stark sterile nature of the matrix, Neo uttered “No, It Can’t Be.”  Well, apparently it can be and it is.  Adults face the music and walk through it.  Children intoxicate and avoid.  Adults experience the freedom of truth.  Children prefer to live in lies.

Think of all the ways we as human intoxicate ourselves, all in an effort to keep the little bastard at bay.  The little bastard reminds us that death is coming.  No matter how we live this life, no matter how well we love, no matter how much we give, nor how magnificently we live, we are going to exit this place.  There is no way around it.   This truth lies at the core of every fear we have.  That is what the little bastard whispers in our ears.  And so, to shut him up, we intoxicate on life.  During most of my life  I had been living in fear, obsessed with intoxicating and avoiding.  I initially felt my little bastard when my first marriage was coming to an end.  I felt miserable, depressed, suicidal, and trapped.  Life did not feel worth living.  What was the point?  I had achieved those things on which I had set my sights.  I had the good job, the wife, the children, the house, all of the things I thought I had wanted.   However, as I came to understand, there is an emptiness in acquisition.  And so came the knock knock on the door of my mind.  The little bastard was ready to break the door down.  I had to get out.  I had to jump into the arms of another woman.  I had to start smoking.  I had to move.  I had to get a new job.   And with all those distractions, I was able to resume life in my own monochromatic dream for another 10 years.  Funny how it all works…simple, yet very clever.

There is an emptiness in acquisition.   After you have achieved something profound,  or purchased a big ticket item, often the response to yourself is something like, “Is that all there is?” or “Is that it?” or “Hmmm?”   There is an emptiness in acquisition.  After fantastic sex and a mind-blowing orgasm, it does not take long for the little bastard to whisper in your ear, “That’s it?”  Notice how you feel after watching the Super Bowl.  Right after the conclusion, there is an immediate let down.  “Was that it?”  There is a letdown after every intoxication, because life does not match up to our illusory expectations.  We strongly desire that life has some meaning, yet the truth of our feelings does not resonate commensurate with our desires.  The little bastard speaks the truth.  Damned that little bastard!

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.  Henry David Thoreau 

A glorious and magnificent life is one that is lived in truth.  Most run from the truth, preferring to live in a sort of dream state rather than make the dedicated effort to understand this amazing life we are privileged to call home.  As we embrace all of life, and not just the “good” stuff, have you noticed how life gets simpler.  Fears abate.  Synchronicity abounds.   Mysteries unfurl.  You begin to understand things from a much larger perspective.  Everything starts to fit into a paradigm which makes sense of all situations.   Unfortunately, you can’t learn this stuff by reading about it.  You must live it.  You must learn to embrace all of it.   You must walk through the fears and expose them for what they are.  The payoff off is immediate and substantial.  Your energy will rise.  You will be humble  You will be vulnerable.  You will be wildly attractive to both sexes.  You will feel and recognize the interconnections of all beings.  Life will become magical.  And all of this is available, right now, just on the other side of this moment,  by simply beginning to look at life honestly and on your own terms.  It is your life.  The invitation is to live it exceptionally.

About the Author

Jay Cradeur Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.

The Unrelenting Rain

The Unrelenting Rain

Last week,  I told my Dad some advice I wish he had given me.  I said “Dad, you never told me this…  If you chop up jalapeno peppers, be sure to wash your hands before going to the bathroom.”  I told him I had a very uncomfortable hour at the It’s A Grind coffee shop while I was pondering this poem.  Needless to say, he laughed long and hard.  Good to see the old man laugh long and hard.  Really good!  I am so fortunate to have this time with him.

And so as I looked out the window, drinking my mocha, I thought about relationships in the context of a rainy day.


The Unrelenting Rain

God’s tears of uproarious  laughter as

men and women sort out the ancients

A herculean chance at redemption

The sound of rain sets me to trance


No way to avoid the travails if

you should dare tangle with Kali

Or choose easy peace and walk away

Tiny drip drops ease heart’s hurts


Stoic monks chant strong in golden light as

frankincense purifies all of our senses

They sacrifice for something quite profound

Water drops fall into churning ocean waves


Storms clouds always move fast and

it’s happening, slippery and out of control

Embrace the grey insanity or go crazy

Cool air refreshes the hurried harried spirit


Burn the pirate map to buried treasure for

the journey is underway now, and now

She is always out there, and I choose her

Water kissing my face makes me smile


Stand in the rain and get wet, there’s

no surprise and still we’re surprised

What a band of ridiculous brothers

Sorting out that which can’t be


The fire burns a saintly red glow with

your hand in mine, we walk the miles

Knowing you and feeling you like no other

Your delicate dancing rain opens my heart


Its grey outside, moist and intoxicating while

the fireplace inside roars delicious warmth

And so I traipse in for what we unwittingly long

Entwined, cuddled n warm for a wisp of a moment


Jay Cradeur

November 25, 2012

About the Author

Jay Cradeur Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.

The Unrelenting Rain

The River That Is Always Flowing.

Some words about love…..

The River That Is Always Flowing.

Not too long ago, a woman broke my heart. (I do realize I did it to myself, but let’s not get too bogged down in detail. Bear with me…)

This is not the first time. Far from it. In a long life in which I freely share my love, it is bound to happen from time to time. But this was different. I did not see it coming. If you have ever watched the show Survivor on television, you may have seen the dreaded blindside, where some poor player (aka Sap) thinks everything is fine and dandy, and then WHAM, he is sent home packing. Never saw it coming. Had I seen it coming, it would have been different. But I didn’t see it coming, and for that I am now eternally grateful. I wasn’t so grateful back then when it happened. Oh no! Since it was such a sudden surprise, the sting was ever so potent.

Each time I have felt the despair of the loss of a partner, I go to a place where I find solace. No, it’s not Krispy Kreme! Rather, this is a place of nourishment (definitely not KK), a place of stillness, a place of beauty and grace. It lives in the depth of my soul like a river that is always flowing. Each time I go there, I am reminded that this place is my home. And each time I go there, I keep more and more of it with me.

I recently invited someone to say the words “I love you.” I wonder if folks realize that saying “I love you” is a gift we give to ourselves. It is such a statement of expansion, and inclusion, and magnanimity. I am a fortunate guy for I have loads of people who tell me they love me. My friends and family are the best. But what is even better than hearing it, and feeling it, is telling someone that I love them. There is available, each and every time, an amazing gift in the speaking of those words. It is a release, a freeing up, and a powerful statement of generosity and gratitude. But most hold it back, living as if love is in short supply, so better not let too much of it go. You might run out?

While some live a life designed to protect the proverbial heart, I suggest they are missing out on the real sustenance of our existence. The love of another is not it. The love of a God is not it. It is not even the love of a child. No doubt, these all feel good when they appear, but they are tenuous at best. There lives in the river that is always flowing a love which I am. It is not something I need to protect or defend or hold back. It doesn’t get hurt and it doesn’t run out. It is always pulsing through our veins and imbuing us with every breath. This is a profound paradigm shift, tilting our individual axis to a world of love and generosity, rather that grasp and defend. Try it on for size. You’ll see, the sun suddenly shines through the window much brighter.

The wailing of broken hearts is the doorway to God.

~ Rumi


And so, why not go out into the world and feel the release of letting go? Unclench the tightening fist. Feel what is already there, and has been hiding all along. Go love someone like crazy and see what happens. Don’t let the fear stop you. If your heart gets obliterated from time to time, so much the better. The goal is not to stay intact, but to vaporize and reconstitute and expand. This is the fundamental nature of transformation. Dive deep into the river that is always flowing. A broken heart is one way in. A broken heart is a swan dive into the waters of the divine. Feel that which never disappoints. Feel who you are beneath all the layers of protection and defense mechanisms. There you will find love. There you will find you. There you will dance like a dervish, mindless and free.


By Jay Cradeur
November 21, 2012

About the Author

Jay Cradeur Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.