Author Jay Cradeur shares what 56 years showed him (so far) about being content with life.
Give them what they want!
There, now you have read the punch line. The secret to get what you want is to give them what they want.
This is simple advise but not easy to follow. For example, gurus have been talking about enlightenment for centuries yet for only a select few, it makes little to no difference. You can not become enlightened by reading about it or hearing about it. You can hear about something in theory, but unless you live it and practice it with discipline, it won’t have any impact. I can tell you how to ride a bike, explain about how the wheels turn and show you how the handlebars control your direction. But if you have never actually rode a bike, you will fall the moment you try to ride. You have no real life experience.
Virtually anything and everything you want involves other people. If you want your partner to do something for you, your partner is involved. If you want to build your business, prospects and clients are involved. If you want to grow as a person, then you will have teachers, either live, or through videos and books, who will need you to follow their instructions. In most cases, your wants are dependent on other people. Few of us live in a vacuum.
Give them what they want.
It’s not about you. In our increasingly ego based existence, this is harder and harder to realize. What does ego based existence mean? It means as our world becomes less and less secure, we think more and more about our own well-being. Our ego has a field day with fear. Also, as our society becomes more technologically dependent, we have less need to interact person to person. Instead, we see restaurants where half the people are looking down into their smartphones, or taking pictures of their food, or posing for a selfie. We are self-absorbed.
One of the great experiences in life is called Samadhi. This is a drug free experience in which a person feels connected to everything in existence. During Samadhi, there is no doubt that the individual “I” is an illusion, and we, all humans, exists as a part of a whole, not independent, but rather interconnected. It shatters all concepts of being separate and different and distinct. It allows one to function from a new perspective.
Give them what they want.
Once you can get out of your own way, and put your wants and needs off to the side for a bit of time, you may see clearly just what it is that another person wants and desires. Once you see it, then all you need to do is deliver it. The trick, as I have been saying all along, is to get yourself into a position to see it. When you do, a whole new world opens up. Life becomes an experience you flow with, rather than struggle against.
“I came to realize that life lived to help others is the only one that matters and that it is my duty…This is my highest and best use as a human.” Ben Stein
This approach works, and it requires a paradigm shift. I hope you can see the brilliance in the simplicity of this illumination. Put the focus on others. Treat them like your most prized possession for they hold the keys to the kingdom. What do they want? What does your partner want? What do business associates want from you? If you are building an online business, stop thinking about what you want to say or do, and instead ask yourself, what do my prospects want in their lives? Instead of pushing yourself onto life, pull life toward you. Can you be the bus driver and give what is wanted? In a world with much misery and suffering, can you jump off the merry-go-round and see it for what it is. The contentment from giving what is wanted is what we all want.