Humility
By Jay Cradeur
July 28, 2012
We just finished the July 2012 Bridge event last weekend in Baldwin, KS. As often happens, I didn’t seem to have any big insights at the event, as I was so thoroughly engaged in delivering the event and supporting the participants toward breakthroughs. I came back to California on Monday and jumped right back in to work. This was probably not the smartest thing to do. These events are energetically exhausting. I normally would take a full week off with no serious obligations. Still, I needed to get back to work to honor my commitments, and so I did. Throughout the week, I felt tired, flat, at times manic, and overall quite emotional and feeling the need for some solitude.
You center my soul. Your beauty humbles me. Your courage shakes me to my core. You are a cool wet washcloth on my forehead after a long day of gardening in the midday heat. Your open hearted love allows me to melt. I live in a spring shower of gratitude. You are the sunlight in my life.
I have a woman in my life. She is quite remarkable. She keeps telling me I don’t really know her at all. Perhaps… I tell her that I know enough. What I do know is I am enchanted. What I do know is the Goddess energy is strong in her. I also know when I have been blessed. Yesterday, she taught me such a powerful lesson that today I can only sleep, eat, garden, cry, and now write. In short guys, Kali kicked my ass once again. For those of you in relationship to strong women, you know how powerful her Kali energy can be when it demands to be fully expressed.
I learned the pitfall of pride. Yes, pride once again gets the best of me. It works like this. I conduct a kick ass weekend event. Men are transformed. On some level, I take credit for the amazing results purported by the men. That energy, which you could call arrogance, or pride (or stupidity, because I know this one so well), imbues my being. I begin to think I had something to do with the powerful results, and forget the very lesson we talked about at the event: The hollow bone. The energy comes from the great unknown, and all I am is a portal, or hollow bone, through which the energy flows.
But no, I mismanaged the whole thing, took credit, believed I am someone I am not, and as a result, almost lost something that is warm and wonderful and precious and rare. In my pride filled state, I am careless. There is no other way to put it. It is as if my brain stops working properly, and words flow out of me, and in the moment, it seems everything I am saying is smart and witty. This was definitely not the case. I said something careless and hurtful.
You center my soul. Your beauty humbles me. Your courage shakes me to my core. You are a cool wet washcloth on my forehead after a long day of gardening in the midday heat. Your open hearted love allows me to melt. I live in a spring shower of gratitude. You are the sunlight in my life.
What I said is not important. What is important is that I recognize when I am feeling prideful, and then get my sorry ass back to gratitude and humility. Yesterday, She and she spoke loud and clear. I am nothing without…. Well, I am nothing. In the end, isn’t that the message? A hollow bone is hollow. There is nothing there. I am a simple portal through which everything flows. When I fill the portal with pride, spirit doesn’t flow, and life gets hard. The magic dies, and I am left bloodied and bruised, half dead on the side of the road. Roar Kali Roar!
I will never forget an experience I had at an event back in 2007. We had just completed a process. During the process, I touched into the feelings of helplessness. It was not your garden variety insight. No. I spent a good half an hour on the floor in the fetal position sobbing uncontrollably, like I had never cried before. It was a deep and extreme contact with that particular energy. As I came out of it, I apologized to one of the guides because I continued sobbing some 5 minutes after the process was over. This woman, a woman I adore, she told me with a smile on her face “Jay, we like you this way.” My humbled self exposes all my humanity. I am fully available. My bone is completely hollowed. I am open for it All.
As I write this, I am listening to Beggars Banquet. Just heard a song called Salt of the Earth. The last line is “Let’s think of the humble of birth.” We are all humble of birth, and then some of us pick up bad habits. I now have a powerful memory of the damage my pride and arrogance can create in my life. I can recall quite quickly the intensity of the searing pain associated with my false visions of grandeur. I know what I want. I know when I have something special to protect. I now know what I got out of the The Bridge last weekend. I got this potent and simple lesson: I am careless and full of hubris when I forget who I am. I am nothing. And when I know I am nothing, I live in a world of wonder and magic and beauty and breathtakingly delicious companionship.
I am reminded of something my old teacher told me. “Your greatest strength and power comes from your vulnerability.” When I am humble, I see clearly. When I know my place in this world, everything is possible. When I am willing to live an unfiltered life, the strength of my courage is exposed. Acknowledging I am nothing is not a statement of weakness. In fact, it is a statement of the highest truth. As Jed McKenna said, “Fire doesn’t negotiate, and nothing doesn’t burn.” Becoming nothing is The goal. It is the end game.
You center my soul. Your beauty humbles me. Your courage shakes me to my core. You are a cool wet washcloth on my forehead after a long day of gardening in the midday heat. Your open hearted love allows me to melt. I live in a spring shower of gratitude. You are the sunlight in my life.
Thank you for second chances! Hey guys?
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
