You might ask yourself, how does a guy over stay his visa by 856 days? How does someone come to Thailand on a 60-day tourist visa, and then not leave for nearly 3 years? It is not as uncommon as you might think. As Anthony Bourdain said, “Asia ruined me!” I had to laugh out loud when young Jeff (See 2 Jeffs Blog Post) showed me his passport. There was his original visa stamp, with the number 856 indicating how many days he had overstayed his first visa.
Things aren’t what they seem. Life is a creation. Creation can’t be planned. When I sit down to start writing my five blogs for the week, I have very little idea of what will come out of my fingers. I sit down with my MacBook Pro on my lap. I pick some music (in today’s case, all Led Zeppelin), plug in my ear buds (currently listening to the song Going to California), and see where it takes me. It’s not neat. It’s not predictable. If I am going to do my best work, it is going to come from a place beyond thought and reason and predictability. It is going to arise out of nowhere, and my job is to be the clearing for it all to show up, capture it, mold it a bit, and then present it online.
A few years back, I was watching Neil Young in conversation with Charlie Rose. Neil said that when that voice speaks to him, he would stop everything, go someplace private, and write it down and work it out. He had learned to have such a deep respect for the gift of creativity, that when it raised its little voice, he was ever so attentive and respectful.
It’s better to burn out, than to fade away.
You are like a hurricane, there’s calm in your eyes, and I’m getting blown away.
– Neil Young
And so it was for young Jeff, who went on an 856-day run in which his life worked so well he saw no reason to deal with the formalities, and instead stayed put and squeezed every ounce of magic out of Thailand. 856 days. It still makes me laugh. I respect the young man for finding a place that felt like home and stayed there, even if he did amass a fine. Go where the heart tells me. Can there be any more practical advice? If I follow my own internal compass, and listen closely, I will always walk my own path. Long may I run.
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
This blog post is about removing the lies that we carry around which help to sabotage our experience of a rich and full life. I have carried around an idea, a false belief that things should work according to a plan. The idea goes that anything that deviates from the plan is not good. This past week, I had an experience that was completely off plan, but I would not have changed a thing. Life, well lived, gets messy. I am learning to live with the mess. In fact, I am learning to embrace and honor the mess. Often the mess is an opportunity for creative brilliance.
I was out at a nightclub in Laos. The time was 11PM. I had to be up at 3:30 AM to get on the phone and talk to about a dozen clients, all in short 15 minute bursts. I have to do my calls at his god-forsaken hour because that is the time that most Americans have available for the sessions. My daytime in Thailand is America’s nighttime. I was out with the 2 Jeffs (see 2 Jeff’s Blog Post) and by this time, we had each drank about 5 beers. Young Jeff had also merged our table with another table and 3 beautiful Laotian women. So what do you think I did?
I said “fuck it” and had a few more drinks, talked it up with our group of 6, and did not get back to my room until 1AM. Sleep came fast and hard, but the sound of my Iphone5 putting out Bob Marley’s Redemption Song at 3:30 AM came even faster. I dragged myself up, and got right in the shower, and sobered up and woke up, and made all my calls. I finished at 8:30. I crawled back into bed, closed the blinds, and slept from 9AM to Noon. I woke up feeling amazing. Bring on the day.
Why share all this? I remember hearing Tony Robbins talk about how when he wakes up, the first thing he does is shock his body into action with hot and cold water. The lesson here being that we give our bodies way too much leverage in determining how we feel. If the body is the ship, we are the captains, and this detail is often overlooked, ignored or forgotten. I came away from this experience feeling empowered. I felt my own personal horizon of experiences expanded. The rules I have used to manage my life may have actually inhibited me from living a full and expansive life. Maybe I do need 8 hours of sleep, on average, but those hours don’t have to be in one unbroken session. Lesson learned.
So let’s party like there’s no tomorrow. We only live once. I enjoyed my time at the nightclub overlooking the Mekong River in Vientiane Laos. I don’t know many people who can say they had a red bull and vodka at a nightclub with three beautiful Laotian women. There was a point in my life where I would have not gone to the club, and instead returned to my hotel to get some sleep in preparation for work. Now I know I can go out, take that rich experience and knowledge gleaned from a night out, and use it to more powerfully achieve my work and life goals. Sleep can wait. I will sleep when I can. I suppose this is another take on “Drink, Don’t Think!” It is good advice that bears repeating.
If God were to speak to me on this topic, I think he would say something like this: “Jay, Live Your Damned Life! I can’t wait to hear all the stories when you get back…”
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
I find I have a bit of cultural arrogance. I am not of Thai descent. And I have only been here in Thailand for 3 months. Still, I guess because I am having such a wonderful time here, and the people for the most part have a beautiful spirit and have embraced me as one of their own, I feel, much like America is my home, and England is my home, Thailand is my home. After three days in Laos, when I did finally return and cross the border, and all the papers had been checked, and there were no more men in uniforms stamping documents, and I could get into a Thai taxi and go to the airport, I said to my travel companion, doesn’t this feel good? Thailand opens my heart.
I arrived in Laos, and assumed that everyone there spoke Thai. Since I have learned a bit of Thai, I was sharing my Thai speak with quite a few Laotians. Finally one of them, a woman running a BBQ salted fish stand, told me that there are differences. Kob Kuhn Krab, which means thank you in Thailand, does not mean the same thing in Laos. She seemed a bit irritated that I had made such an arrogant assumption. She taught me the Laotian version of thank you, which sounds like Kob Jay.
While this might seems like a little thing, it got me to thinking about how much I think I know, and because of that arrogance, I miss much of what is really going on. I have a challenging time remaining in what Zen books refer to as beginner’s mind. There is an openness and receptivity that maximizes my life experience. When I stop thinking I know everything about everything, life works much better. When I can see each person, and each experience, as a teacher, life starts to flow, and magic returns to my life.
The flip side of this is that when I think I know all, life becomes predictable, life lacks spontaneity, and magic disappears. I see people who are smug, who have seen quite a bit of life, been there and done that, and they are not people I want to be around. They like to speak, and not to listen. They speak with self-proclaimed authority rather than with generosity and magnanimity. Their life appears to be a clenched fist rather than an open hand. Going to Laos reminded me I don’t want to be that guy. Thank you Laotian BBQ salted fish lady for reminding me that I can still be an arrogant American jerk from time to time.
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
I just got back from the country of Laos. I had to leave Thailand before November 20th, in order to get a new visa, and then return. My time in Thailand has passed by rather quickly. In fact, I can hardly believe I have already been here 3 months. The prospect of staying another 6 months just doesn’t seem like all that long. I am very well aware of how magical my time in Thailand has been. I value each day as if it could be my last. And so, the time does seem to fly by like a bullet whizzing past my French nose.
Last week in preparation for my border run, I booked a ticket on Nok Airlines round trip to Udon Thani, a Thai city near the Laos border. I booked 3 nights at a hotel in Vientiane, Laos where the Thailand visa office is located. I took plenty of money and headed off into the wild blue yonder. It was all a bit last minute. It wasn’t until I was in a mini van heading towards the Friendship Bridge, which connects Thailand to Laos, that I realized I had no idea if my life partner, my IPhone 5, would work in Laos. I do take my phone virtually everywhere I go. I do frequently set it on airplane mode so that I have plenty of me time. It is always there; ready to make a call, ready to post a photo, ready to slap a witty or observant thought on Facebook, or Skype an image to anyone of my children.
The Thailand phone service I have, AIS, does not work in Laos. I had no Internet connection! Lawdy, what to do? When I left the hotel and it’s WIFI, I was like an untethered helium balloon barreling into space. At first, out of habit, I did go to my phone to post a picture to Instagram and was immediately reminded of my dire situation. I did not have an Internet connection. I went to Google maps to show a tuk tuk driver how to get back to my hotel. The app reminded me that I did not have an Internet connection. Then I had a breakthrough.
I was eating lunch on my second day with young Jeff. We had selected an Italian restaurant called Lao Luna. I had brought my phone, although in truth, it was only good to me as a camera. After two days, I had stopped going to it. I stopped the impulse. And then grace descended on me and time stood still. Until this moment, the trip to Laos was a bit of an inconvenience. The back and forth to the visa office, the problems that the slow hotel internet was causing me with my work, and having to adjust to a new currency and language all contributed to my Laos malaise. Then, it all shifted. Laos became beautiful. I was free. I felt like a kid in an Apple store (I feel certain more kids would prefer anything Apple makes to some candy!). I was playing old time hookey.
The food at that lunch was superb. I had a sea bass in a cream mushroom sauce, with a few potatoes and vegetables. The fish was excellently prepared. The weather was a perfect 72 (this is the temperature at which I do not notice the weather.) I experienced homeostasis with my environment. The sun was shining. People were smiling and happy, eating and talking and sharing life experiences, and I was embracing a new level of technology independence. It was a glorious transcendental moment in time.
As I write this, my IPhone 5 rests on the bed next to me. He seems to know that our relationship is going through a transition. He is back in Thailand, back online, fully charged, all topped up, and still he feels the distance between us growing. I am sorry “Jay’s Iphone5” (his legal name), but I am going to be taking more me time. I hope that while I am out, and you are here at home guarding the castle, that you learn new ways to amuse yourself. You too can learn to be more independent. You don’t need me in your life 24/7. This may be a bit painful at first, but it is the best thing for both of us. You stay here now. I am going outside to feel the sunshine on my face, free from any technological disturbance. Good bye buddy.
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
This past week, I had to make a border run. It sounds exciting, doesn’t it? Border Run. In order to get a new visa to be in Thailand for an additional 6 months, I had to leave Thailand, go to Vientiane, Laos, visit the Thailand visa office, apply for and purchase the visa, and then return to Thailand all legal like. This is a modern day border run. On my way into Vientiane, I shared a minivan with some other border runners. One guy who looked mid twenties was named Jeff. He was a live wire, full of that young life energy that I once had. Ideally, at this point in my life, the young life energy has begun to transform to the wise elder energy. The jury is out on that one.
The next day, I saw Jeff at the Thailand visa office, and he was sitting with an older guy. The older guy is also named Jeff. Meet the 2 Jeffs. I now have two new friends, young Jeff and old Jeff, both living in Chiang Mai, both Americans, and both making a border run. Jeff, Jeff and Jay. Young Jeff has been in Thailand for four years, and old Jeff for two years, and all three of us were staying at the Sinnakhone Hotel in Vientiane. We agreed to meet in the lobby for dinner at 7PM. Kindred spirits unite.
We walked 10 minutes to a traditional Laos restaurant. We ordered drinks, Laos beef, chicken, several rice dishes, and then more beer. I was very happy to fully express and share my experiences in Thailand with two guys who could absolutely relate to my love of the people, the culture, the experiences and the knowledge I have gained. I shared effusively about my experiences in Phuket and Chiang Mai, and they knew exactly what I was talking about. If you haven’t ever been here, you can’t really know what it is like. I don’t know what it is like to be in the military. I may have some ideas, but the men and women who serve, they know. As a result of my ebullient sharing, the 2 Jeffs also told their stories, and I was right there, nodding my head in complete agreement.
Out of the dinner and the ensuing nightclub visit, I came away with some powerful realizations that I would like to share with you. First, I came to see the value of taking immediate action toward the things I want in life. I observed young Jeff. He does things his own way. At the tender age of 30, he knows what he wants and he works with immediacy to have those things. I saw this behavior in action in the way he is building a business in Thailand, in the way he ordered food and drinks, and in the way he worked the nightclub scene, ending up with a beautiful Laos girl at the end of the night. That energy of “let’s do it now!” is attractive. I could see how many of the women in the nightclub were drawn to Jeff, to his smile and to his “this is it!” energy. Many are uncomfortable with taking action, preferring “let’s think about it” in the security of the dream stealing comfort zone. Rather than jumping off the ledge and figuring it out on the fly, many pause and lose it. It is like my Dad use to tell his three boys, he who hesitates is lost. Great reminder. Thank you young Jeff.
From old Jeff, I learned life is just too short to sweat the small stuff. As I watched Jeff speak and move, it was clear that it is all small stuff. Jeff had just returned from a jaunt to Cambodia and Vietnam, was now is Laos, and soon would be returning to his residence in Chiang Mai. Jeff has traveled quite a bit. The more I travel, the more I realize that life always has and always will work out. Even when it does not seem like things are going well, life always has my back. Travel plans change. A plane trip can become a bus trip. A missed flight turns into a hotel room for the night. It all works out. Thanks old Jeff for the reminder to chill out and remember life is all small stuff.
The relationship of the two Jeffs can best be summed up with the story of the Grandpa bull and teenage grandson bull. On top of a hill, they look down and see a whole herd of cows. The grandson says, hey Grandpa, “Let’s run down and have sex with one of the them!” The Grandpa bull says, “Son, instead of running, let’s walk down and have sex with all of them!”
The last observation I would like to share is around the controversial topic of authority. We spoke in depth about the socialization process in America. We talked about how we were all raised to give over our authority to a church, to a government, to an employer, and to the institution of marriage (and monogamy). We all agreed we did not want to bash any of these institutions. They all serve a purpose for millions of people. However, as we have all spent some time outside of America, we have to come to realize those institutions are choices, and the beliefs presented as fact, are also choices, and for the three of us, many of those institutions and beliefs no longer serve us.
The most poignant experience shared that night, the thing that solidified our brotherhood, is we all agreed that when we wake up in Thailand, we wake up happier than we have ever been. There is a lightness of being that allows our spirits to soar. It really is as simple as that. And isn’t that what life is all about? Find what you love, and do it. Spend your time in a place and around people that bring you joy. Dare to be happy. If you feel like a round peg going into a square hole, then go to the place with nothing but round holes. Of course the trick is to realize you are a round peg, and there are places where round pegs fit. That place may very well be America for you. For me I feel it may be part time in America, and part time in Thailand, and part time in places yet to be discovered. For the two Jeffs and me, our hearts tell us that Thailand is a beautiful place on our lonely planet. Thanks guys for a great night!
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
“Take me to the river And wash me down Won’t you cleanse my soul Put my feet on the ground”
Al Green – Take Me To The River
This past weekend, I ventured out of Chiang Mai and into the countryside. I rode an elephant and visited a rural village filled with children, scarves, pigs and chickens and surrounded by pastoral rice fields. We hiked a ways from the village to a secluded waterfall throwing off mist and rainbows in the air. After lunch we headed out for our final activity, which was described to me as white water rafting. I immediately envisioned Meryl Streep and Kevin Bacon barreling down the rapids. As you can see from the photo, this was not the case at all.
No, instead four of us, a wonderful German family of three and the lone American, boarded our ship. Our captain was a young Thai man, early twenties, who with the use of a large stick guided us around rocks and fellow rafters. Once we boarded the raft, we sat down. The shock of the cold water on our behinds was immediate. As we pulled away from the shore, more water filled my swimsuit, creating another shock to the system. I noticed everyone had pulled their legs up, so that only their behinds and feet could get wet (See Mom and Dad in the photo). I instinctively knew to drop my legs and let everything get wet as quickly as possible. I knew to surrender to the cold, for certainly more was coming my way.
As we moseyed down the river, the rapids got bigger, and larger waves of water enveloped us. After about 5 minutes, my legs had adjusted to the temperature and the water started to feel warm. Suddenly everything shifted. The rafting portion of our adventure had become a glorious dive into oneness, a transformation from cold and unknown to warmth and communion. I had experienced this before, so I had an idea of what to expect.
There I was, a floating orb of light, feeling the warmth of a late afternoon as I was effortlessly carried down river. The raft was a womb and I was the perfectly vulnerable and ecstatic passenger. The sunlight danced in and out through the trees, while butterflies of all colors mingled in and out of my Technicolor dream. Sometimes, and this may happen to you as well, I have the experience of being exactly where I am suppose to be, and everything, absolutely everything is perfect and in no need of a change or fix.
At one point, the mother asked the father, “this is nice, isn’t it?” to which the father begrudgingly said “it’s all right.” I heard his response and realized in that moment the profound impact that our perception has on the quality of our experiences in life. In the most general terms, the more perceptive you are, the more you will experience and the more coherent will be your own philosophy of life. In this case, if I were living in a place of constant judgment of my experiences, I would have robbed myself of the transcendental journey I had the privilege to experience.
Certainly I would assert that as one increases his or her powers of perception, there is a logical understanding of the value of letting go rather than clenching and holding tight. Increased perception lead to an opening to life. It is for this reason that many of my weekend events (like The Bridge) focus on processes to aid in increasing perception, and stretch our understanding of different realms of reality. It is my observation that there are few things more exuberant than realizing you are now perceiving the world is a new and previously unrealized way. It is like walking out of a darkened room into the sunlight.
Take me to the river. I had an ayahuasca type experience without the aya. Colors were popping. Butterflies were flirting with me. The water had a conversation with me. I flew through the trees, and saw me back on the raft. Everyone on the shore smiled at me like they were all in on it. It’s like that. Call it the zone. Call it Samadhi. Call it connecting with nature. Call it returning home. For me, it was experiencing my true nature with and not apart from anything. Thank you Thailand for your wonderful and mystical land. It has been an honor to walk your soil and float on your water.
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
