Where do you go my love?
Have I ever really known you?
Your lovely disguise had me convinced
Yet I long for the true you that I once knew.
Why do you hide my love?
What happens to call the fear?
When did you decide to shut it down?
When we know there is much more here.
Once I felt your breath of crystalline air.
My swelling heart swayed in unison with you.
I heard a chorus of angels in your voice.
Does it hurt you so bad the memories of two?
Will I ever feel you vibrant again?
Will you ever open in free repose?
Can I be a safe port in the storm my love?
For you to drop anchor and stop being foes?
Where does your heart go sweet mystery?
When you protect and puts up the walls?
I’ll dismantle the fortress brick by brick.
Well tango together in earth’s heavenly halls
This is the dance of life’s human form
Hold tight or let it all go and surrender.
Both are risky and nothing is for dammed sure.
But release offers the finest God can render.
Let Go. Just Let Go!
– Jay Cradeur (from Breathing Light –A little book of poems)
This poem is about the illusion of separation, heart ache, hope and frustration. I wrote this after having lost a love, and not understanding why. Was I not a good enough man? Did she, as I have done with others, simply fall out of love? Could she come back to me?
In the end, all I or any man can do is work to become the best man he can be. If that attracts a woman into my world, so be it. If any particular woman is not interested, I marshal on knowing I am creating a magnificent life, alone or in partnership. Life is too short to worry about such things. There are forces, powerful forces, which mold and shape a life. I’ll work to stay in alignment with the multitude, for it is their game I am playing, it is their energy that flows through me, and I am honored beyond belief to be their conduit.
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
In 2004, I ventured into the evening woods during the fall equinox in Marin County, CA. I noticed how my body wanted to slow down and get quiet. Something much bigger than me was demanding my attention and respect. This sensation became quite strong, especially as I ventured past the lit portion of the forest into the dark and thick quiet. It was profoundly eerie, walking among the huge trees, the moonlight piercing through the rare openings in the canopy, and the subtle sounds of the wind and falling leaves tickling my awareness.
I slowly walked, and utilized the Taoist form of walking, which serves to quiet the body and the mind, allowing me to become more at one with the surroundings. It was quiet, still and beautiful. As I slowed down, I felt myself drawn to the trees, and found myself leaning into one of the larger ones. As I leaned, I felt as if all the tension and anxiousness that was in my body simply oozed out, as if being absorbed by the tree through osmosis. It was decadent beyond words. I had to move to another tree and sit down, my back leaning into this magnificent energy source.
I didn’t move for about half an hour or so. I focused my attention on the physical sensations I was experiencing. I listened to the wind. I felt the tree at my back, and the soft ground under my legs. And then I was called to look up, and so I did. And there, in the gap between the trees, I saw the Goddess. She was very beautiful, with just her alabaster face looking down at me. I looked up at her for another 10 minutes, listening for her message. And what I heard was “Even when you don’t see me, know that I am always with you.” How stunning and glorious! I have since had many such mystical magical experiences, but this was one of the first, and there is nothing quite like the first. I felt ever so fortunate.
At this point, I realized I had lost track of time, and my friends had headed back out of the forest. So I left my cozy nook next to the tree, and began my trek out of the forest. I noticed how the energy had shifted since I had walked in. The night was darker, the wind louder, and magic was in the air. I opened my eyes and my heart, looking for whatever was next. And she came back to me again.
I was walking and saw her, a woman dressed in white, with a white scarf draped over the front of her. As I approached, she began to fade into the night. Still, I understood we were not through with our interactions. I understood there was still something for me to learn on this night. I went back to my original location and looked at her again, and I watched her. I defocused my eyes, a technique my teacher had taught me, and I felt for what she was saying to me. She asked me to hug her. Now, I am not one to argue with or question divine guidance. I tried to do things my way in the past, and it didn’t work. If I am asked to hug a goddesss, I will do it. It was one of the most heartfelt experiences of my life. She was soft, and she smelled of freshly cut wood. She was glorious to hold. Then, and only then, did I understand the true meaning of her message. “Even when you don’t see me, know that I am always with you.”
I feel that so much of my work with men had been about connecting our hearts (under used) with our heads (over used). What she was telling me, I believe, is that women have the exact same challenge. Many women are utilizing more of their masculine (their heads) than they really care to. It is survival. There aren’t many men around in whose company women can truly relax into their feminine divine essence. There is a disconnect between the Goddess’ head and her feeling body. She is screaming to us for the same connection we all strive for, that 12-inch connection between our heart and mind. While I was honored by the wisdom, I also felt a profound sense of mission and purpose, with so many minds and bodies, so rushed, and with so little serenity, stillness, vulnerability and open heartedness.
– Jay Cradeur (from an upcoming book tentatively titled, The Bridge To Camelot)
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
“I remember kneeling in the pews, letting my tongue touch the wood of the pew in front of me. It had a very unusual and appealing taste to me, so I would taste it often. I remember being bored most of the time, since I didn’t really understand what was happening up there in the front. Things did improve slightly once I received my first holy communion and I was able to participate in that sacrament from grade three to four. The best part of going to church on school days was the end. I remember experiencing pure exuberance when I could walk out the doors of the church, into the sunshine, and onto the school playground. I loved to play. That was all that really mattered to me, playing. Going to church, going to school, doing chores, those were all things that needed to be done so that I would have time to play.”
This is an except from a book in progress.
Please share an exuberant childhood memory? What made you smile so big your face hurt?
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
It’s time to stop playing small. That little voice in my head is not me and so I refuse to listen to it’s pernicious ego whisperings. I will give all I have to give. I will be generous with my life’s story, no matter how vulnerable and exposed I feel. It is my privilege.
I will work day by day to develop the habits and obtain the knowledge to support me on my quest. It is a hero’s quest we are all on. The quest is for the fullest expression of who I am. This is where my gifts are to be found. This is the stuff of which an amazing life, my life, is born, nurtured and brought to an explosion of love and bliss and ultimate contentment.
I will play big starting now. I choose to live as a fully realized adult. I will flow with the universe and allow myself to be fully used by every atom of creation. I surrender. I Let Go. I gladly give. I am at the edge and leaping off into the great unknown. The space outside of my comfort zone will be my home.
Today truly is the first day of my life. I embrace the magnificence that lives within me, that is me and that is you too.
When Werner Erhard experienced his moment of awakening driving on the Golden Gate Bridge in 1971, this was his crystalline realization.
Life is empty and meaningless. It is we the people who assign to it all meaning and significance. For Werner Erhard, and just a few others that I am aware, all beliefs, assumptions, and social conditioning fell away. All that appeared was the space, or what he has called, a clearing, in which emptiness and meaninglessness simply are.
All of this is wonderful for us in two profound ways. First, we know such a moment of awakening, of the ultimate freedom, is available for us all. What one man can do, another can do. Second, if you accept (or at least understand the concept) that meaninglessness and emptiness is our natural state, our always present blank slate, then we all have the ability and unmitigated privilege to create any life we desire. Life is an immense white canvas, and we have the big box of 64 crayons. Color on, one and all. Anything is possible once we clear the clutter of our mind. This is the golden path. This is the holy journey. This is the ultimate undertaking for which we have arrived here now in this place.
Game on.
What is a powerful realization you have experienced? When did the way you see life shift? When did the clutter of your mind lighten up and you had a profound moment of clarity?
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
Last week, I told my Dad some advice I wish he had given me. I said “Dad, you never told me this… If you chop up jalapeno peppers, be sure to wash your hands before going to the bathroom.” I told him I had a very uncomfortable hour at the It’s A Grind coffee shop while I was pondering this poem. Needless to say, he laughed long and hard. Good to see the old man laugh long and hard. Really good! I am so fortunate to have this time with him.
And so as I looked out the window, drinking my mocha, I thought about relationships in the context of a rainy day.
The Unrelenting Rain
God’s tears of uproarious laughter as
men and women sort out the ancients
A herculean chance at redemption
The sound of rain sets me to trance
No way to avoid the travails if
you should dare tangle with Kali
Or choose easy peace and walk away
Tiny drip drops ease heart’s hurts
Stoic monks chant strong in golden light as
frankincense purifies all of our senses
They sacrifice for something quite profound
Water drops fall into churning ocean waves
Storms clouds always move fast and
it’s happening, slippery and out of control
Embrace the grey insanity or go crazy
Cool air refreshes the hurried harried spirit
Burn the pirate map to buried treasure for
the journey is underway now, and now
She is always out there, and I choose her
Water kissing my face makes me smile
Stand in the rain and get wet, there’s
no surprise and still we’re surprised
What a band of ridiculous brothers
Sorting out that which can’t be
The fire burns a saintly red glow with
your hand in mine, we walk the miles
Knowing you and feeling you like no other
Your delicate dancing rain opens my heart
Its grey outside, moist and intoxicating while
the fireplace inside roars delicious warmth
And so I traipse in for what we unwittingly long
Entwined, cuddled n warm for a wisp of a moment
Jay Cradeur
November 25, 2012
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
