I find I have a bit of cultural arrogance. I am not of Thai descent. And I have only been here in Thailand for 3 months. Still, I guess because I am having such a wonderful time here, and the people for the most part have a beautiful spirit and have embraced me as one of their own, I feel, much like America is my home, and England is my home, Thailand is my home. After three days in Laos, when I did finally return and cross the border, and all the papers had been checked, and there were no more men in uniforms stamping documents, and I could get into a Thai taxi and go to the airport, I said to my travel companion, doesn’t this feel good? Thailand opens my heart.
I arrived in Laos, and assumed that everyone there spoke Thai. Since I have learned a bit of Thai, I was sharing my Thai speak with quite a few Laotians. Finally one of them, a woman running a BBQ salted fish stand, told me that there are differences. Kob Kuhn Krab, which means thank you in Thailand, does not mean the same thing in Laos. She seemed a bit irritated that I had made such an arrogant assumption. She taught me the Laotian version of thank you, which sounds like Kob Jay.
While this might seems like a little thing, it got me to thinking about how much I think I know, and because of that arrogance, I miss much of what is really going on. I have a challenging time remaining in what Zen books refer to as beginner’s mind. There is an openness and receptivity that maximizes my life experience. When I stop thinking I know everything about everything, life works much better. When I can see each person, and each experience, as a teacher, life starts to flow, and magic returns to my life.
The flip side of this is that when I think I know all, life becomes predictable, life lacks spontaneity, and magic disappears. I see people who are smug, who have seen quite a bit of life, been there and done that, and they are not people I want to be around. They like to speak, and not to listen. They speak with self-proclaimed authority rather than with generosity and magnanimity. Their life appears to be a clenched fist rather than an open hand. Going to Laos reminded me I don’t want to be that guy. Thank you Laotian BBQ salted fish lady for reminding me that I can still be an arrogant American jerk from time to time.
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
I just got back from the country of Laos. I had to leave Thailand before November 20th, in order to get a new visa, and then return. My time in Thailand has passed by rather quickly. In fact, I can hardly believe I have already been here 3 months. The prospect of staying another 6 months just doesn’t seem like all that long. I am very well aware of how magical my time in Thailand has been. I value each day as if it could be my last. And so, the time does seem to fly by like a bullet whizzing past my French nose.
Last week in preparation for my border run, I booked a ticket on Nok Airlines round trip to Udon Thani, a Thai city near the Laos border. I booked 3 nights at a hotel in Vientiane, Laos where the Thailand visa office is located. I took plenty of money and headed off into the wild blue yonder. It was all a bit last minute. It wasn’t until I was in a mini van heading towards the Friendship Bridge, which connects Thailand to Laos, that I realized I had no idea if my life partner, my IPhone 5, would work in Laos. I do take my phone virtually everywhere I go. I do frequently set it on airplane mode so that I have plenty of me time. It is always there; ready to make a call, ready to post a photo, ready to slap a witty or observant thought on Facebook, or Skype an image to anyone of my children.
The Thailand phone service I have, AIS, does not work in Laos. I had no Internet connection! Lawdy, what to do? When I left the hotel and it’s WIFI, I was like an untethered helium balloon barreling into space. At first, out of habit, I did go to my phone to post a picture to Instagram and was immediately reminded of my dire situation. I did not have an Internet connection. I went to Google maps to show a tuk tuk driver how to get back to my hotel. The app reminded me that I did not have an Internet connection. Then I had a breakthrough.
I was eating lunch on my second day with young Jeff. We had selected an Italian restaurant called Lao Luna. I had brought my phone, although in truth, it was only good to me as a camera. After two days, I had stopped going to it. I stopped the impulse. And then grace descended on me and time stood still. Until this moment, the trip to Laos was a bit of an inconvenience. The back and forth to the visa office, the problems that the slow hotel internet was causing me with my work, and having to adjust to a new currency and language all contributed to my Laos malaise. Then, it all shifted. Laos became beautiful. I was free. I felt like a kid in an Apple store (I feel certain more kids would prefer anything Apple makes to some candy!). I was playing old time hookey.
The food at that lunch was superb. I had a sea bass in a cream mushroom sauce, with a few potatoes and vegetables. The fish was excellently prepared. The weather was a perfect 72 (this is the temperature at which I do not notice the weather.) I experienced homeostasis with my environment. The sun was shining. People were smiling and happy, eating and talking and sharing life experiences, and I was embracing a new level of technology independence. It was a glorious transcendental moment in time.
As I write this, my IPhone 5 rests on the bed next to me. He seems to know that our relationship is going through a transition. He is back in Thailand, back online, fully charged, all topped up, and still he feels the distance between us growing. I am sorry “Jay’s Iphone5” (his legal name), but I am going to be taking more me time. I hope that while I am out, and you are here at home guarding the castle, that you learn new ways to amuse yourself. You too can learn to be more independent. You don’t need me in your life 24/7. This may be a bit painful at first, but it is the best thing for both of us. You stay here now. I am going outside to feel the sunshine on my face, free from any technological disturbance. Good bye buddy.
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
This past week, I had to make a border run. It sounds exciting, doesn’t it? Border Run. In order to get a new visa to be in Thailand for an additional 6 months, I had to leave Thailand, go to Vientiane, Laos, visit the Thailand visa office, apply for and purchase the visa, and then return to Thailand all legal like. This is a modern day border run. On my way into Vientiane, I shared a minivan with some other border runners. One guy who looked mid twenties was named Jeff. He was a live wire, full of that young life energy that I once had. Ideally, at this point in my life, the young life energy has begun to transform to the wise elder energy. The jury is out on that one.
The next day, I saw Jeff at the Thailand visa office, and he was sitting with an older guy. The older guy is also named Jeff. Meet the 2 Jeffs. I now have two new friends, young Jeff and old Jeff, both living in Chiang Mai, both Americans, and both making a border run. Jeff, Jeff and Jay. Young Jeff has been in Thailand for four years, and old Jeff for two years, and all three of us were staying at the Sinnakhone Hotel in Vientiane. We agreed to meet in the lobby for dinner at 7PM. Kindred spirits unite.
We walked 10 minutes to a traditional Laos restaurant. We ordered drinks, Laos beef, chicken, several rice dishes, and then more beer. I was very happy to fully express and share my experiences in Thailand with two guys who could absolutely relate to my love of the people, the culture, the experiences and the knowledge I have gained. I shared effusively about my experiences in Phuket and Chiang Mai, and they knew exactly what I was talking about. If you haven’t ever been here, you can’t really know what it is like. I don’t know what it is like to be in the military. I may have some ideas, but the men and women who serve, they know. As a result of my ebullient sharing, the 2 Jeffs also told their stories, and I was right there, nodding my head in complete agreement.
Out of the dinner and the ensuing nightclub visit, I came away with some powerful realizations that I would like to share with you. First, I came to see the value of taking immediate action toward the things I want in life. I observed young Jeff. He does things his own way. At the tender age of 30, he knows what he wants and he works with immediacy to have those things. I saw this behavior in action in the way he is building a business in Thailand, in the way he ordered food and drinks, and in the way he worked the nightclub scene, ending up with a beautiful Laos girl at the end of the night. That energy of “let’s do it now!” is attractive. I could see how many of the women in the nightclub were drawn to Jeff, to his smile and to his “this is it!” energy. Many are uncomfortable with taking action, preferring “let’s think about it” in the security of the dream stealing comfort zone. Rather than jumping off the ledge and figuring it out on the fly, many pause and lose it. It is like my Dad use to tell his three boys, he who hesitates is lost. Great reminder. Thank you young Jeff.
From old Jeff, I learned life is just too short to sweat the small stuff. As I watched Jeff speak and move, it was clear that it is all small stuff. Jeff had just returned from a jaunt to Cambodia and Vietnam, was now is Laos, and soon would be returning to his residence in Chiang Mai. Jeff has traveled quite a bit. The more I travel, the more I realize that life always has and always will work out. Even when it does not seem like things are going well, life always has my back. Travel plans change. A plane trip can become a bus trip. A missed flight turns into a hotel room for the night. It all works out. Thanks old Jeff for the reminder to chill out and remember life is all small stuff.
The relationship of the two Jeffs can best be summed up with the story of the Grandpa bull and teenage grandson bull. On top of a hill, they look down and see a whole herd of cows. The grandson says, hey Grandpa, “Let’s run down and have sex with one of the them!” The Grandpa bull says, “Son, instead of running, let’s walk down and have sex with all of them!”
The last observation I would like to share is around the controversial topic of authority. We spoke in depth about the socialization process in America. We talked about how we were all raised to give over our authority to a church, to a government, to an employer, and to the institution of marriage (and monogamy). We all agreed we did not want to bash any of these institutions. They all serve a purpose for millions of people. However, as we have all spent some time outside of America, we have to come to realize those institutions are choices, and the beliefs presented as fact, are also choices, and for the three of us, many of those institutions and beliefs no longer serve us.
The most poignant experience shared that night, the thing that solidified our brotherhood, is we all agreed that when we wake up in Thailand, we wake up happier than we have ever been. There is a lightness of being that allows our spirits to soar. It really is as simple as that. And isn’t that what life is all about? Find what you love, and do it. Spend your time in a place and around people that bring you joy. Dare to be happy. If you feel like a round peg going into a square hole, then go to the place with nothing but round holes. Of course the trick is to realize you are a round peg, and there are places where round pegs fit. That place may very well be America for you. For me I feel it may be part time in America, and part time in Thailand, and part time in places yet to be discovered. For the two Jeffs and me, our hearts tell us that Thailand is a beautiful place on our lonely planet. Thanks guys for a great night!
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
“Take me to the river And wash me down Won’t you cleanse my soul Put my feet on the ground”
Al Green – Take Me To The River
This past weekend, I ventured out of Chiang Mai and into the countryside. I rode an elephant and visited a rural village filled with children, scarves, pigs and chickens and surrounded by pastoral rice fields. We hiked a ways from the village to a secluded waterfall throwing off mist and rainbows in the air. After lunch we headed out for our final activity, which was described to me as white water rafting. I immediately envisioned Meryl Streep and Kevin Bacon barreling down the rapids. As you can see from the photo, this was not the case at all.
No, instead four of us, a wonderful German family of three and the lone American, boarded our ship. Our captain was a young Thai man, early twenties, who with the use of a large stick guided us around rocks and fellow rafters. Once we boarded the raft, we sat down. The shock of the cold water on our behinds was immediate. As we pulled away from the shore, more water filled my swimsuit, creating another shock to the system. I noticed everyone had pulled their legs up, so that only their behinds and feet could get wet (See Mom and Dad in the photo). I instinctively knew to drop my legs and let everything get wet as quickly as possible. I knew to surrender to the cold, for certainly more was coming my way.
As we moseyed down the river, the rapids got bigger, and larger waves of water enveloped us. After about 5 minutes, my legs had adjusted to the temperature and the water started to feel warm. Suddenly everything shifted. The rafting portion of our adventure had become a glorious dive into oneness, a transformation from cold and unknown to warmth and communion. I had experienced this before, so I had an idea of what to expect.
There I was, a floating orb of light, feeling the warmth of a late afternoon as I was effortlessly carried down river. The raft was a womb and I was the perfectly vulnerable and ecstatic passenger. The sunlight danced in and out through the trees, while butterflies of all colors mingled in and out of my Technicolor dream. Sometimes, and this may happen to you as well, I have the experience of being exactly where I am suppose to be, and everything, absolutely everything is perfect and in no need of a change or fix.
At one point, the mother asked the father, “this is nice, isn’t it?” to which the father begrudgingly said “it’s all right.” I heard his response and realized in that moment the profound impact that our perception has on the quality of our experiences in life. In the most general terms, the more perceptive you are, the more you will experience and the more coherent will be your own philosophy of life. In this case, if I were living in a place of constant judgment of my experiences, I would have robbed myself of the transcendental journey I had the privilege to experience.
Certainly I would assert that as one increases his or her powers of perception, there is a logical understanding of the value of letting go rather than clenching and holding tight. Increased perception lead to an opening to life. It is for this reason that many of my weekend events (like The Bridge) focus on processes to aid in increasing perception, and stretch our understanding of different realms of reality. It is my observation that there are few things more exuberant than realizing you are now perceiving the world is a new and previously unrealized way. It is like walking out of a darkened room into the sunlight.
Take me to the river. I had an ayahuasca type experience without the aya. Colors were popping. Butterflies were flirting with me. The water had a conversation with me. I flew through the trees, and saw me back on the raft. Everyone on the shore smiled at me like they were all in on it. It’s like that. Call it the zone. Call it Samadhi. Call it connecting with nature. Call it returning home. For me, it was experiencing my true nature with and not apart from anything. Thank you Thailand for your wonderful and mystical land. It has been an honor to walk your soil and float on your water.
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
Mon is a beautiful woman, mid 40s, who currently works two jobs. Morning job is running a restaurant. Evening job is serving drinks and running a bar. I met Mon on my first bar visit in Chiang Mai several weeks ago. She brought me my Singha beer, and we played a game called Get Four. Hanging out with Mon continues to be a joy. She has a big spirit and infectious smile. She has a teenage boy, and also adopted a now two-year-old girl. Let’s return to the first night I met Mon at Wayne’s World Bar.
Four beers later, and 5 straight losses at the game, Mon told me she would be opening her own bar, and it would be called Moon Bar. She told me about the sign for the bar, and I told her my ideas. I drew it out on a piece of paper, and she loved it. I took a few minutes and made a design in Photoshop (which is the image for this blog) and texted it to her. Soon her sign will be up, and Mon will be operating her very own bar in mid December. Two jobs, two children, single mom, you have to respect her work ethic.
As impressive as all that is, this is what I want to share. Mon is very popular with all the girls that work at Wayne’s bar. She appears to me to be a matriarchal figure. She is about 20 years older than most of them, and she has seen quite a bit of life. So last night I said, “Mon, are you taking any of the girls over to the new bar with you?” Without a thought, Mon said “No, not good for Wayne. No good for him, no good for me.”
I think it is fair to say that most people would not take that same position. Most people would be looking out for themselves first, and let Wayne figure it out on his own. Even though these women are friends of Mon’s first, she inherently knows that doing the right thing for Wayne is the best thing in the long run for both her and Wayne. Perhaps it is the Buddhist belief in Karma, which informs Mon’s life philosophy. I don’t know. I do know that when she answered my question, I knew she was right on so many levels. Her response was so simple, so spot on, so integrous and so pure. I have been in the position of starting my own businesses in the past. I did not always operate with “Mon quality” integrity. I suffered because of it.
“No good for him, no good for me.” Mon’s words and wisdom are well worth remembering.
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. To get more information about Jay’s program, click on this link: Work with Coach Jay.
It’s just not that hard. Recently I had someone make this image of me. Since I am a phone coach, I asked an artist to take my marketing image, the big smile, and add some headphones. I sent him a quick selfie to see what the actual headphones (Logitech) look like on me. We went back and forth 3 times, each time the image and headset began to look closer to reality. After about 3 days, like magic, I had a brand new image to use on Skype and with my MOBE email account.
So you might think this was really expensive and hard to pull off. Well you would be wrong. I sent two images to a guy I found on Fiverr, and spent, are you ready for this, $10. And for this miniscule investment, I continue to get comments about how cool my image is, and folks ask me where they can get one made for their own marketing. Fiverr. Just about anything you could want or need in terms of building an online business can be found on Fiverr. At the end of this blog is a video I made with more examples of how I have used Fiverr.
You may wonder how I put out 15 pieces of content each week. I write travel / lifestyle blogs. I write some purely Internet Marketing blogs. I also post videos to YouTube. How do I do all that? I don’t. There is an entire network of independent contractor all over the globe, from the U.S. to India, from China to the Ukraine, from Pakistan to the Philippines. All these people have specific talents that they will sell to you for a very reasonable fee. These folks are generally referred to as Virtual Assistants, and they will make your life manageable, while giving the world the appearance that you are working night and day. My partner and virtual assistant, Jan, is from the Philippines, and he is responsible for getting all the content out to the world. I focus on creating the content. I get to go out and ride an elephant, and then share about the experience and lessons learned. I love it.
You can visit a site called Elance. I have used Elance quite a bit over the years. There are others, but I can only attest to Elance as they have been very professional and effective for me. Do your own research. Matt Lloyd has also created a program for $297 about all the dos and don’ts associate with utilizing other people’s time. It is called the OPT Formula and I highly recommend it if you are not working with me as a client, and would find the information valuable. If you are a client of mine, you will get the OPT Formula when you become an MLR (licensee).
Do what you are good at. Hire others to do the other stuff. Go have someone make an image for you. $5. Order a new business card image. $5. Take some action. Get some images going. It will stir not only your creativity, but also your vision. Watch this video and see how simple it really is.
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
Just the other day, I sat down for breakfast at a little restaurant on Loi Kroh Road, Crema Café in Chiang Mai. While I had spent the last 2 months in Phuket, my breakfast was primarily chicken and iced coffee. My go to spot was a hole in the wall that served chicken in different curries and soups. Arriving in Chiang Mai, and living in a more touristy section of downtown, I have more food choices. I can eat a hamburger, a burrito, a mango smoothie, and a wide swath of Thai delicacies (including stewed pork leg). On this day, I ordered a cheese omelet, which came with a piece of toast. There, next to the toast was a small package of butter, the kind that you might see at Denny’s.
Shock and distress coursed through my veins. Butter. It had been 2 months not only since I ate butter, but also since I had even seen butter. You must understand, I am the guy who frequently states with great glee, “Butter makes everything better!” My children have looked at me with disgust when I put butter on the crust of my pizza. Egads. While in England, I discovered a butter called Lurpak. The local bakery made bread on Monday. I would go to the store in the morning, buy the bread (often still warm), cut a nice slice, toast it, and then slather on the Lurpak. I can say with absolute certainty that there was no happier nor content human being on the planet save for me at the moment the toasted Lurpak coated bread hit my palate.
So how did I break the habit? How is it that I did not eat butter for 2 months? I moved to Thailand. How is it that I no longer sit in front of a television and waste hours of my life surfing from channel to channel? I moved to Thailand. While I don’t’ expect many people to move to Thailand for the winter, there are two valuable lessons we can glean from this experience. First, take on a big project so that you don’t’ have the time nor inclination to eat crap and watch tv. Second, remove the vices out of sight. Get then out of the house. If you don’t see a TV or butter, you are less likely to use them. If you want to quit smoking, the first thing you do is get rid of the cigarettes, and clean out all ashtrays and anything else that may remind you of smoking. I quit smoking over four years ago.
I saw a post on Facebook. “Mother Theresa didn’t walk around complaining about her thighs. She had shit to do.” If I am focusing on my work and my health, I don’t have time to vegetate in front of the TV. What can you commit to that will propel you to a place where TV doesn’t make sense? Are there any foods in your home that you know aren’t healthy, that you can throw out or give to someone? The answer to these questions may be No. You may love your TV time and relish the idea of gorging on pizza and butter. I have been there too, and I had a pretty good time… for a while. Eventually, my spirit had enough, and demanded something deeper from me, something that require my full presence. Butter and TV make me sleepy. For me, it was time to wake up.
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
The more I work on building my Internet Marketing business, the more I realize what is required of me. The dreamy image of me of sitting behind a computer, spending a few hours a day typing away while large sums of money are flowing into my bank account is not reality. It is a very alluring image, and many less than scrupulous marketers will tell you this is the way it is, especially if you buy their product. But, make no mistake, it is a lie. You are going to have to get messy, challenge yourself, and in the process, discover just whom you are and what you are made of. This is the beauty of Internet Marketing.
At any given time, I work with work about 100 coaching clients. Each client has a dream, a vision, a strong reason why they want to change their life, earn additional revenue from home, and attain a greater degree of personal freedom. There is an initial excitement at the prospect of working toward a well-considered goal. Then the work begins. Most begin the work, but few will continue. At some point, the client will have to cross what I call the Comfort Bridge. This is the point in time when the proven and tested and very successful system will ask the client to do something that lives outside of their comfort zone.
The large majority of my clients have approached Internet Marketing as a way to help with their financial challenges. In short, there is not enough money at the end of the month, or, there is not enough money for a satisfying retirement. Money, and the things money can buy, is almost always the main driver for someone to explore Internet Marketing. It is one way you can work from home, and with a relatively low investment, start and build a powerful revenue generating business. When all goes to plan, this is a beautiful thing.
But it doesn’t always go to plan. This is because going with the plan involves discomfort. The plan requires a change in action, a change in the client’s past behavior that has not allowed the client to achieve financial independence. Doesn’t it make sense, that if what you have been doing has not worked, and someone shows you a plan that is working for thousands of people, you would make the change, simply out of pure logic and desire for change?
However, this is not a logical choice. It is emotional. Doing something outside of your comfort zone requires foresight and courage. Most people don’t have that. Most people would rather be broke and comfortable, than cross the Comfort Bridge and live a prosperous life full of daily discomfort. That is what it takes. Entrepreneurs have to raise start up capital. Entrepreneurs have to make commitments to get uncomfortable projects underway and complete. Entrepreneurs have to search for and achieve excellence. Entrepreneurs don’t drone on about how they can’t.
This blog is an invitation to cross the Comfort Bridge. The air is fresh and clean and invigorating over here. You will be surrounded with people who are living just at their edge, creating magic and making things happen. The stale smell of the air that has been stifling you will clear up once you cross the bridge. A whole new world awaits if you will but make a commitment, dare to be great, and venture out of your comfort zone. Won’t you join us?
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
