Connection. I have seen this word bandied about here there and everywhere. Connection. It would appear Connection is the new holy grail of daily living. Connecting is now helpful or soothing or necessary for life contentment. Now I won’t begrudge anyone who has found a coping mechanism that is necessary and works. But my experience leads me to call bullshit on the concept of connection.
Connection implies a duality, or a separateness that exists only in the mind. There must be a you, and something outside of you, to which you want to connect. If you feel disconnected, whatever that feels like for you, you are living in the illusion of duality as a reality. When I feel sad, or fearful, or angry, or melancholy, I feel it. I don’t feel disconnected. Disconnected, I suggest, is more psycho babble created to divert us from the real feelings of life, like being sad, fearful, angry or melancholy. I am suggesting there is nothing to fix and no connection to achieve. The surest way to the other side of these feelings is through them. Jumping on a cushion to meditate, or having a drink, or a quick romp, or an Orange Is The New Black binge watching session may alleviate the feelings, but you really haven’t moved your spirit any closer to the realization of your true nature, for which connection has no place.
This is all a symptom of our huge obsession with intoxication on life. Our normal state is deemed not enough, so we create all of these things to do and see and buy and penetrate to keep the truth at bay. Life isn’t all bliss. Life is hard. Life is tension. Sometimes we are too smart for our own good. Instead of feeling our lives, we work ever so hard to change our state, running from fear and pain and suffering, and chasing love and pleasure and bliss. The only problem with this is our lives are now dependent on external circumstances over which we ultimately have no control. Perhaps it is time to go inward
Clearly, this is a first world problem. How wonderful that we don’t really have to worry about having clean water to drink, or having enough food to sustain our bodies, nor a virus like Ebola to contend with. Instead, we can set our sights on realizing god within us and there is no connection necessary. Instead of connecting, what is called for is transcending. So the challenge then becomes, what can we do to achieve this abiding awareness.
“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.”
Henry David Thoreau
I am suggesting the solution is not getting intoxicated on bliss, or adrenalin, or love, or connection, or any substance. Play it straight. Stop chasing and stop running. Can I just be with whatever is put in my life? There is this pernicious belief that life is always supposed to be blissful. This lie is damaging to your spirit. It creates unrealistic expectations that then leads to addictive behavior. Instead, I suggest establishing a routine. Figure out what is important in your life, schedule out each day of the week, and then do your best to stick to it. You will learn pretty quickly when you get off track, when you find yourself chasing something, or running from something.
My routine right now while I am living in Thailand is this. I awake at 2:30 am. I shower, shave, make the bed, brew the coffee, drink my protein shake, and begin work at 3. I work until 9, then walk down to eat breakfast of iced coffee and fried chicken. At 11:00 I workout by walking 4 miles and then swimming for half an hour. Out in the Andaman Sea, I float for about 10 minutes and meditate. I grab a simple lunch of barbeque chicken and a fruit smoothie. Back home to shower, and then to my favorite coffee shop to write and create on my computer for 2 hours. The rest of my day is rest and dinner and then to bed between 7 and 8. That is my Monday – Friday schedule. My weekend are very open, very fluid, and very rejuvenating. When I find myself veering off this path, I know I am chasing something, or running from something. When I am doing nothing but living my life, magic happens. Worlds open up.
My truth is this. There is nothing and nobody to connect with. God is everywhere, and I am part of everywhere, so I must one with, not one separate from. It is impossible to connect to myself because I am already myself. Again, it is a belief that I am separate from everybody and everything that leads to a desire to connect. It is not real. It is not supportive of you or your awakening to your real life. Instead, you are choosing to live in some sort of fantasyland.
Have you never walked the streets and felt yourself in everybody and everything that you saw. That is true. If you want to feel fear, then feel separate. Instead, play with the concept that you are one and the world is the same one. I understand you may not feel it, but that is how it truly is. The masters have confirmed this. Fake it for a while, and then you will have a moment, a crystalline clear realization that duality is an illusion. It will all make sense. You will most likely weep.
So, connect if you like. Chase after rainbows and unicorns. I am suggesting there is a more disciplined approach to life that will get you where you are going faster. If you like chasing and running, keep on doing it. As a very skilled change state artist myself, I found it all very addictive. The thrill of it, the feelings of accomplishment, the bliss of ignorance, and the adulation of those around me seemed to feed me for quite a significant portion of my life. This path, the path, is none of that. It is quiet, inward, intuitive, reflective, conscious, patient, enduring and real. Is it your path?
Live life. Love life. This is an invitation to try it on for size. Those that came before us, the wisest of men and women, have said that duality is an illusion. We do live in a state of oneness. So why not try it? When you’re with somebody and they say something that that upsets you, realize it is you that is saying something that upset you. You are the one upset. When you are angry with a situation, realize that you’re being angry with yourself. You are the one who is angry. When you see genius in another, look for that same genius within you. These are the kinds of thoughts to run over in your mind. These thoughts, as Thoreau points out, are the kind you might want to dominate you life and create a deep mental path. They say the truth will set you free. Why not go for it all?
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
What an adventure! I decided to go out a find some butter lamps that I have seen in Buddhist temples. Many people here in Thailand are Buddhist, so there must be someone who sells these ancient relics. I headed off to Phuket town at the advice of Aree who oversees the house in which I am living. Instead of taking a taxi, I decided to really go local and take the blue and white bus that goes from Phuket to Kamala, with stops right in front of my house. The last key ingredient to mix in to this adventure is rain, monsoon type rain, rain with thunder, rain that comes down in buckets. In fact, it is like the ice bucket challenge without the ice or bucket.
Off I went, stopping at the local cell phone place to top up my minutes. Next I swung by the grocery store to pick up a plastic covering to battle the rain. I had seen people wearing these on their scooters, and around my neighborhood, so I made my 21 Baht purchase. Next I found a nice place to wait by the side of the road to catch the bus. There aren’t any bus stops like you see in America. Instead, you have to wildly wave your arms and get the driver’s attention, or else wait another half hour or so for the next bus. I got his attention. On the bus I got, and off we went to the town of Phuket.
I got off the bus and was assaulted by taxi and tuk tuk drivers asking me if I needed a ride. I waved my hand, kept walking, and looked for a place to eat and get my bearings. I found a wonderful little café with real lattes and delectable deserts. I sat down for a while, enjoyed my latte while images of America floated through my head. The place even had a picture of John Lennon on the wall. After my montage of sepia toned memories, I was thrust back into Phuket, Thailand as thunder cracked and the heavens opened up. My goal was to aimlessly walk around, stopping in at shops in search of butter lamps, scarves, candles, incense and tingshas (Tibetan bells, which I forgot to bring to Thailand and use to begin and end my meditations).
I got so wet that no part of me was dry. Drenched. Not only is it raining, but wearing the 21 Bhat plastic cover created a sauna type environment for my body. I had buckets of rain pelting me while rivers of sweat were running down my body. All I could do was laugh, walk the streets, accept the rain and the sweat, and surrender to the elements. I walked. I got wet. I visited shops. I laughed. Others laughed with me. I did find one great shop that had some of the things on my list. I purchased a gorgeous green patterned scarf and my biggest find was a set of antique tingshas, which are at least 50 years old. What a powerful and sustained sound they have!
I had wondered about 3 miles from the bus drop off point, and I had 90 minutes to get back. I was lost, and just started walking. The rains poured down. I stopped for another latte, and this woman knew her espresso and foam stuff. Look at the pattern, the nice little cookies, and even green tea on the side. It was one of those moments, when everything tastes perfect, the environment is just right, and having endured miles of walking in the rain, I felt I deserved this special moment for myself.
Onward. Keep walking. Found a bus. Waved wildly. I had returned to the bus stop (a place on the road where the buses wait for passengers) and waited 45 minutes until we left. It was remarkable how much more, I observed, the Thai people live in the moment, not as lost in thought and opinion, as my American brothers and sisters. I admit that I was focused on the amount of time I was sitting on that bus waiting to leave. “When are we getting out of here?” I would think to myself. “I am wet, and tired, and want to get home!” Then I noticed the other people on the bus. They were talking, laughing, playing with their cell phones, and not seemingly concerned in the least about when we departed. It was an stirring reminder of not living in the past or the future, but living in the right here and right now. My life is what’s happening right now. And at that moment, I was sitting on a bus.
Got home after 45 minutes on the bus. Stopped for some milk at the grocery store. Stopped at the local food cart for some takeaway dinner. Finally got home at 6:30. Took a good long shower. Ate my dinner. Got a massage. Looked at my scarf and tingshas, and tried on my new t-shirt which I had bought in Phuket to swap out with my dripping wet button down. With a feeling of complete exhaustion, I crawled into bed. What a day! There were so many moments and memories. It was a wonderful adventure, physically challenging, emotionally satisfying and spiritual uplifting. As always, I am feeling blessed and grateful for this experience called life. And I am living it now.
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
This weekend, I spent 2 days with some close friends at Dillon Beach in Northern California. We shared a simple two-story house close to the beach. The food was outstanding, the conversation was inquisitive, and the hot tub was soothing. We took a few walks down to the Pacific Ocean, which always opens up big questions for me as I look out and observe the infinite nature of our world. I began to ask myself this question: Where do I begin?
As I march through this life, and learn bit by fiery bit, to tame my ego, it seems clear that I am not the chattering voice that wants to control everything. I am not the one that demands “Look at me!” Rather I am that inner voice, the observer, the listener, the one that responds rather than reacts. I am the one that I discover each and every day that I meditate. I am the one that can share a moment with another, and not talk, not demand, not need, and feel in-tune and connected.
So I thought. I began to question this belief.
Is that me? Is any of it, me?
Maybe I am giving myself too much credit (something for which my ego is very proficient). Perhaps I am nothing more than a spark of consciousness, as I do have an awareness of this one called Jay. Maybe all that inner voice and observer labeling is nothing more than a different aspect of ego. Perhaps I am nothing but a composite amalgam resulting from the forces that have weighed upon me from the beginning of my earthly existence. Where I live, who I spend my time with, what I spend my time doing, what country I am in, these seem to be the things that have forged me into me. It has been, for the great majority, a choice-less existence. Perhaps I am nothing more than a spirit inside a body suit that has been shaped and tempered by innumerable forces, both gross and subtle.
I believe so.
What I am now seeing clearly is that life has been far more mechanical, and predictable than I had ever imagined. I had a vision of all of us as machines, plodding through life, all doing the same things. This shift in awareness is infinitely freeing. It feels like I am a goldfish that has been pulled out of the water so I can look back and see that I have been in a fish tank all this time, and there is a whole new world to be explored. This new world shows up as an invitation to freely think outside of the box and uninhibitedly create. I can do what I want, and create the type of life I have envisioned, for by understanding this dynamic, I am freed of it.
I began at birth, and from that point, I stopped, and life happened. Now freed of that construct, I can choose to co create a reality based on spirit and flow. This is exciting. This feels fundamental. This shatters the perception of free will. Who among us is really free? This is a complete shift in context that will take some getting used to.
Where do I begin? Perhaps I don’t, or didn’t begin. Something began, but it wasn’t me. Perhaps I am but a channel through which energy flows. Perhaps my roles are to be sensitive to the energy, and flow with it, and not resist it, and breathe. What will a life look like without the fear and struggle? I don’t know, but I am willing to find out.
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
On August 15th I will be heading toward Asia, and landing in Phuket, Thailand, jumping into the great unknown. I plan to be there during our winter months and returning to Northern California in spring 2015. It is a great adventure, with much to be revealed. While my soul has come to accept and embrace this uprooting, my ego is resisting. I can feel its confusion, its desire for security, and its ever-present and well-known fear of the unknown.
Some days I imagine myself scuba diving in crystal clear water, warm water teeming with gorgeous sea life. I envision a long lazy Saturday sitting on a beach, tanning myself, eating ripe fruit and grilled, just caught, fish, and rejuvenating like never before. I foresee hanging out with my new local friends, learning how to cook Thai food for myself and for others. Yes, I see these pictures in my head, and know that they will mostly materialize in due time.
Other days, I imagine myself in my bungalow, with my children and family and friends some 8,000 miles away. I know there will be moments of longing for carnitas from the taco truck, and the laughter of loved ones sitting across the table from me. There will be days in which I will not want to write, and won’t have anything planned, and will be tired of working, and stretching and meditating and cooking and diving, and even in Thailand, I will be bored.
In the end, life is life, here and there, in Sebastopol, CA and Phuket, Thailand. This trip is not an escape for me, but rather it is a dive into the unknown. Thailand is an arrow straight through my heart, a powerful choice to leave here, and find more of me there. The life of a monk, as I imagine it, is simple yet challenging, with moments of bliss few will ever experience, followed by hellish walks through the desert of lost souls. It is those journeys, which inform the bliss. Soon it will be time for me, once again, to put on my walking shoes.
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
There is a profound beauty inherent in every moment. It is an aching awareness, an excruciatingly profound knowing that this life, this experience, right now, is precious. The more you slow things down and find that still center in the heart of your being, the more you will come to experience life on life’s terms. Therein lies the gorgeous beauty of our existence. When you get beyond the celebrations, the self-congratulations, and the extravagances, there you may find the mountainous presence of this exact moment. It is so subtle, and yet not. When you feel it, you will be forever changed.
Life is not an experience to be dominated. Rather, it is a dance, a romantic give and take, a love affair with the unknown. Life, which I’ll refer to as She, She has so much to offer. We are called upon to be receptive and open to attract her precious gifts: love, bliss, grace, connection, and the incredible self-knowledge that no matter what happens, life has your back. There is a freedom to letting it all go, and allowing the white rapids of life to take you and show you exactly who and what you are in a way that will wash away all fears and concerns.
Life is patiently waiting. Life has always been waiting. One day you will jump. It is inevitable for that is the way the river flows. When you are ready, you will show up. It starts by getting honest about the role you play in your life. It starts by eating some humble pie, and acknowledging the precarious nature of our existence. It starts by surrendering to life, and thereby getting into greater alignment with life. She will forge a partnership that has an unbreakable bond. In this partnership, you get out of the way and allow life, in all her power and glory, to work through you. It’s a tacit agreement that you will serve as a conduit, fully aware that your gifts and accomplishments truly are not your own.
She calls upon us to be vulnerable, soft, willing, and purposefully aware. Then the dance will begin in earnest, the dance of life which starts with one conscious breath. These are life’s terms. This is life’s promise to you. The invitation remains at your doorstep.
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.
