Connection. I have seen this word bandied about here there and everywhere. Connection. It would appear Connection is the new holy grail of daily living. Connecting is now helpful or soothing or necessary for life contentment. Now I won’t begrudge anyone who has found a coping mechanism that is necessary and works. But my experience leads me to call bullshit on the concept of connection.
Connection implies a duality, or a separateness that exists only in the mind. There must be a you, and something outside of you, to which you want to connect. If you feel disconnected, whatever that feels like for you, you are living in the illusion of duality as a reality. When I feel sad, or fearful, or angry, or melancholy, I feel it. I don’t feel disconnected. Disconnected, I suggest, is more psycho babble created to divert us from the real feelings of life, like being sad, fearful, angry or melancholy. I am suggesting there is nothing to fix and no connection to achieve. The surest way to the other side of these feelings is through them. Jumping on a cushion to meditate, or having a drink, or a quick romp, or an Orange Is The New Black binge watching session may alleviate the feelings, but you really haven’t moved your spirit any closer to the realization of your true nature, for which connection has no place.
This is all a symptom of our huge obsession with intoxication on life. Our normal state is deemed not enough, so we create all of these things to do and see and buy and penetrate to keep the truth at bay. Life isn’t all bliss. Life is hard. Life is tension. Sometimes we are too smart for our own good. Instead of feeling our lives, we work ever so hard to change our state, running from fear and pain and suffering, and chasing love and pleasure and bliss. The only problem with this is our lives are now dependent on external circumstances over which we ultimately have no control. Perhaps it is time to go inward
Clearly, this is a first world problem. How wonderful that we don’t really have to worry about having clean water to drink, or having enough food to sustain our bodies, nor a virus like Ebola to contend with. Instead, we can set our sights on realizing god within us and there is no connection necessary. Instead of connecting, what is called for is transcending. So the challenge then becomes, what can we do to achieve this abiding awareness.
“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.”
Henry David Thoreau
I am suggesting the solution is not getting intoxicated on bliss, or adrenalin, or love, or connection, or any substance. Play it straight. Stop chasing and stop running. Can I just be with whatever is put in my life? There is this pernicious belief that life is always supposed to be blissful. This lie is damaging to your spirit. It creates unrealistic expectations that then leads to addictive behavior. Instead, I suggest establishing a routine. Figure out what is important in your life, schedule out each day of the week, and then do your best to stick to it. You will learn pretty quickly when you get off track, when you find yourself chasing something, or running from something.
My routine right now while I am living in Thailand is this. I awake at 2:30 am. I shower, shave, make the bed, brew the coffee, drink my protein shake, and begin work at 3. I work until 9, then walk down to eat breakfast of iced coffee and fried chicken. At 11:00 I workout by walking 4 miles and then swimming for half an hour. Out in the Andaman Sea, I float for about 10 minutes and meditate. I grab a simple lunch of barbeque chicken and a fruit smoothie. Back home to shower, and then to my favorite coffee shop to write and create on my computer for 2 hours. The rest of my day is rest and dinner and then to bed between 7 and 8. That is my Monday – Friday schedule. My weekend are very open, very fluid, and very rejuvenating. When I find myself veering off this path, I know I am chasing something, or running from something. When I am doing nothing but living my life, magic happens. Worlds open up.
My truth is this. There is nothing and nobody to connect with. God is everywhere, and I am part of everywhere, so I must one with, not one separate from. It is impossible to connect to myself because I am already myself. Again, it is a belief that I am separate from everybody and everything that leads to a desire to connect. It is not real. It is not supportive of you or your awakening to your real life. Instead, you are choosing to live in some sort of fantasyland.
Have you never walked the streets and felt yourself in everybody and everything that you saw. That is true. If you want to feel fear, then feel separate. Instead, play with the concept that you are one and the world is the same one. I understand you may not feel it, but that is how it truly is. The masters have confirmed this. Fake it for a while, and then you will have a moment, a crystalline clear realization that duality is an illusion. It will all make sense. You will most likely weep.
So, connect if you like. Chase after rainbows and unicorns. I am suggesting there is a more disciplined approach to life that will get you where you are going faster. If you like chasing and running, keep on doing it. As a very skilled change state artist myself, I found it all very addictive. The thrill of it, the feelings of accomplishment, the bliss of ignorance, and the adulation of those around me seemed to feed me for quite a significant portion of my life. This path, the path, is none of that. It is quiet, inward, intuitive, reflective, conscious, patient, enduring and real. Is it your path?
Live life. Love life. This is an invitation to try it on for size. Those that came before us, the wisest of men and women, have said that duality is an illusion. We do live in a state of oneness. So why not try it? When you’re with somebody and they say something that that upsets you, realize it is you that is saying something that upset you. You are the one upset. When you are angry with a situation, realize that you’re being angry with yourself. You are the one who is angry. When you see genius in another, look for that same genius within you. These are the kinds of thoughts to run over in your mind. These thoughts, as Thoreau points out, are the kind you might want to dominate you life and create a deep mental path. They say the truth will set you free. Why not go for it all?
About the Author
Jay Cradeur is an author, blogger, internet marketer, world traveler, and coach. Jay has helped thousands to achieve their dreams of financial independence. As an internet marketing coach with a focus on personal development, Jay may be able to assist you in reaching your goals. You can work with Jay for a 100% refundable fee of $49 by clicking on this link and committing to your future. Work with Coach Jay.